Living by a Higher Order

Reflections at Le Jardin Secret in Marrakech, Morocco

I’m always in awe of how God slides through life to share God’s messages and wisdom. One late morning, as I spent time in space between checking out of one accommodation and checking into another, I took a short visit to Le Jardin Secret — Secret Garden, a former palace, situated in the medina in Marrakech. Entering the garden was an immediate reprieve, though I had only walked for a few meters before finding the entrance to the garden. Staying in the medina for a few nights was a beautiful experience, but as my hormonal tides began to shift from ovulation to premenstrual, I would need to also shift to a quieter environment more suited to the sensitivity I am blessed with during premenstruation. Living in the middle of a souk is not conducive to sensitivity.

The garden, however, was charming, beautifully designed, and quiet, such that you wouldn’t remember you were in the middle of a medina, unless you were at the top of the building looking out into the city. On the ground level, though, bordering the central part of the garden where visitors can try to find some shade, sit under the large gazebo, take copious photos, and appreciate the unique quiet, are rooms with art from Moroccan artists bringing their special perspective of their culture to the fore, and spaces where the history of the garden is told.

On the second level of the garden exists a café and a little doorway to the tower of the garden, manned by staff members who will take anyone interested on a tour.

Well, I like high places, so I was interested.

Of the two staff members manning the entrance, Farid brought me up to the top of the tower. He shared some history with me, I snapped some photos. And then, likely because the wind was blowing something sweet through the air, and because the time and place were right, the visit took an interesting turn.

Farid and I spoke about the catastrophic earthquake that happened last year in Morocco – it took the life of so many beings, including an old friend of Farid’s and the guy’s whole nuclear and extended family, apparently in one fell swoop.

If that is not a reminder to live and love fully in the present moment, I don’t know what is.

At the top of the garden in the tower, we were closer to God. According to Farid, the city is structured such that the mosques are the tallest in the city, then the palaces, then the riads. God sits highest, then royalty — representatives of God — and then the people.

Up in the tower, I saw the birds more clearly. From that high up, their flight makes sense – there is an order to be observed. From the earth, looking up into the sky, bird flight seems random, chaotic, and whimsical. It is only when birds fly in large flocks, covering the sky with their outstretched wings, that we mammals take extra special notice.

Humans are like ants to God, mainly because of our size, but also because of how squishable we are, and how fascinating we are in the ways we create structures and systems of work and sustenance. Birds are messengers of God. They have their own systems of work and sustenance, but I find their systems to be lighter, more sensitive, more aligned with timing than productivity, more aligned with Divinity. And then I make the connection between the birds and God; when I consider it like this, God’s movement in life, while it seems random, chaotic, and whimsical, it has an order. A higher order.

As Farid and I passionately discussed through our conversation on death and the meaning it brings to life, this higher order is unconditional love.

***

In the days prior to visiting the garden, some part of me was calling out to life to send me a message that would help me feel relaxed and held in all of life’s uncertainty. And in the tower of Le Jardin Secret, I received my message, thank God.

I understand that this is only a visit to Morocco and that there is a home and family and “familiar” patterns that exist upon my return to the USA. One of those patterns I often sense is a tit for tat, conditional love. And I won’t lie, in the presence of conditional love, my instinct is to escape. It’s a challenging energy to be in. Conditional love promotes codependency and propagates distortions of innate, erotic truth. What is erotic truth? The ability to accept and be with everything life offers, seeing all through the lens of sensation, love, desire, and wisdom. Nothing is wasted, everything is honored. Conditional love automatically says “no”, “not like this…”, “only if this…”. Conditional love only allows happiness under certain circumstances. God’s promise of happiness is irrespective of circumstance. It is felt. It is deeply known. It is birthright. It is unconditional.

My life practice is to be an untethered heartist, appreciating the beauty and God-given resources around me, and creating more beauty on Earth with these resources. I also believe I am called to rise into challenging situations from time to time and open my heart, letting the strength and potency and force of my passion alchemize conditional love into unconditional love. I guess on some level, because this is only a brief visit to Morocco, part of my mind is already preparing myself to reenter an environment where it's up to me to decide to live in unconditional love, unconditional passion.

It’s a lot easier to be blissfully happy when I’m visiting a beautiful foreign country with little responsibility and days on end to do whatever I wish without considering anyone else. But since I began my journey as a traveler when I was 19, I always maintain that there is some aspect of the travel experience to take back into the home environment. For me, during this visit, it was the reminder that unconditional love is always available, I just have to be curious about it and willing to apply it to my life. I understand that it is a continuous practice, and I must remain devoted to the perfection of God’s everlasting, unbounded peace, no matter what “familiar” patterns are present in my life circumstances. I think this is the way to cultivating personal resilience and always remaining connected to one’s innate joy.

I’ll keep practicing… nothing but Divinity in my heart.