Past my bedtime
What's ringing through my mind
is fuck fuck fuck
I don't want to move myself from this bed
and go out of the house at this dark and ungodly hour
It's 8pm and I'm usually yawning and twiddling my toes in
cozy socks by now
But I think of Maria's sweet smile
And the way she makes space for others' words
in conversation even when she is the recipient of the question
So I'm in an Uber with the waxy seat under me
nearly ready to catapult me from the car
and I think
Whatever, I don't want to be here anyway
There are too many people at the restaurant
but almost immediately I see her
Mother earth with her braided pigtails
and single curly tendril kissing her
left cheek bone
We hug hard and I feel I'm where I'm supposed to be
Nuno is at the table and I already feel his love
Our energies mingle before we meet
We take our seats
and smile at each other
I feel at home though the breeze on my ankles makes me want to cry
and the waiter is definitely high
We keep laughing about how
Nuno is waving in his face to see if he's here with us
but we think he's waving to someone entering the restaurant
We are, after all, waiting for La Chata, Vittorio, Mariana
And I thought it was just Maria and I who were meeting
Surprise, surprise, Mexican leniency
And Mariana has come and gone in a whirlwind
of backstory, life updates, and two sips of agua mineral
which she leaves for one of us to drink
Off to a jazz concert, kids, she practically says
She's almost 20 years older than us and
I want to be like her when I grow up
We've finished our shumai and muthafuckin spicy ass tom yummy yum soup
by the time La Chata and Vittorio stroll in
like it's their living room and
they just woke up from a nap to guests in their house
Chata shakes me like a rag doll when she hugs me
I love her strength
She orders tempura vegetables and yaki onigiri
and I think why would someone order soy sauce rice triangles and deep-fried vegetables
as I stick my fingers in her plate
Just helping myself
This is my family
This is home.
